When my second baby was born at 11 pounds, I was peppered with the same statements about sleeping that I was given when I had my 9.5 pound baby, “Oh you know the nice thing about big babies? They sleep!” I would kindly nod when these parenting experts would share their wisdom about sleep and then I would resume drinking my double shot latte.
As I suspected, the “big baby sleep theory” was unfounded and only served to ignite the madness I felt in my sleep deprivation and did nothing to comfort my feelings of being overwhelmed as a new mom.
I felt underwater.
I felt scared.
I felt angry.
I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing.
I felt like I wasn’t doing anything very well: mothering, working or being a partner.
I felt alone.